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The

Well-Ordered Family.

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Section I. Of the Preparatives to Family Duties.

«Sli^»jf^S:)(S^t^5bOW that we may more comfortably <gf?j^£>^?.^cg^'^^ carry on thele i'amily Duties, oblerve Slt^ >jS22 we, r. Our Entrance into them, and ^f 1? £:tf"?? 2. Our Proceedings m them. '^^^5''ii5''^6^-c^ I. r or Entrance, we muft lay^a ^r?^®t^-^ good Foundation for Traaablenefs unto Religion in thofe that belong to the Family. As, I. In the Governour. 2. In the'Governed.

1. In the Governour ; whofe Duty it is,

T. To endeavour in a fpecial Manner for Knowledge in God's Word ; and for Holinefs of Converfa-tion in a ChriftianVValking. This would tend much to the Prefervation of his Authority ; who other-wife will be flighted and difregarded, through an apt-nefs in Inferiours to take Occafion therefrom.

2. To ?narry in the Lord ; and then to live chaftely in Wedlock, that there may be a holy Seed : Now that he may marry m theLord^ i. LetPiety be the mover of hisAfrection ; and Perfonage,Parentage, &^ Portion, be only as a comfortable accefTary, confiderable ii; a

fecond

fecond Place : Chriftianity and Grace, is the chi.e^ golden Link and noble Tie, which hath the Power and Priviledge to make Marriage a lovely and ever-larting Bond. 2. Let him ply the Throne ot Grace "with fervency of Prayer : A good Wife is a more immediate Gift of God. Whence Solomon could fay, Moufes and Riches are the Inheritance of Fathers ; hut a friident Wife is from the Lord : Such a rare, and precious Jewel is to be fued and fought for at God's Mercy Seat, with extraordinarylmportunity & Zeal; 2nd it (he be procured at God's Hand by Prayer, jhe lha)l.,find a thoufand Times more Sweetnefs an^l Comfort, then if (he be call: on him by an ordinary Providence. 3. Let l)im obferveand mark thefe fix Points in his Choice : As, i. The Report : 2. The Looks;; 3. The Speech: 4. The Apparel : 5. The Companions: 6. The Education ; Thefe are like the Fulfes ; that (hew the fitnefs and gccdJinefs of any Parry with whom heought to marry.. . ; ■ 3. To beware whom he admits to dwell with him ; that they be tradable unto religious Courfes. See David's R e fo lii ti o n h e re i t) ^: Ji Tine Eye Jhall he upon tht faithful of the Land^ that they rruiy dive II ivith me .'. He ihat walketh in a perfe£i Way Jhall ferve me : . He that worldh Deceit fnall not divell within my Houjc : He thai ielleth Lies^ fhall not tarry in my Sight. . • 2.. In the Governed -, whole Duty it is both to join together in ;'the Performance oi Family Duties w.ijii tiieir Govfrnour;and to fubmit to his Government : My Son^ here the Infirutiion of thy Father^ andforfake not the Law of tlry Mother ; for they jhall be pn Ornament of Grace unto thy Head^ and Chains about ihyNeck.

Thefe Preparatives 1 pin upon the Front or Porch <if this Family : . Now to tlie Family. Duties them-4<i.v,es, and how they mull be excrcikti.. .

Slction

It.

Explained and En/arced. 5

SECTION II. Of the Duties of Governours in generaL

N rhe Proceedings of thefe Family Dutie^^ we are to confide•• the Duties, 1. Of the Governours-. 2. Or the Governed.

I. TheGovernours ; if (as !♦ is in Marriage) there be more than one ; as tirii, the chief Gover-nour, viz. the Hufoand : iiiecondiy, the Helper, v<z, the Wife j both thefe owe Duties-to their Famil.esi and Duties to one another.

I. The Duties they owe to their Families, are either, la general to the whole ; or, in particular, according to their feveral Relations.

I. That which in general they owe to the whole Family, is either, to their Bodies, or to their Souls.

r. To their Bodies : Concerning which, faith the Apodle, He that providetJ? not for his own, and efpeciall^ for thoje of his oiun Haufe. he hath denied the Faith^ and is worfe than an Ufdtl. I Tim. 5. 8. Now as tlie Spirit of God ch^r^eih us with this Duty, lo iie fetterh us about fuch Thingswhereby this may be compaifed ; a:s, I. That every one fliould have feme honeft and good Calling, and walk diligently in it : Let him that Jictie^jUal no m»re, (faith the Apoflle, Eph. 4. 28.) hut ra'her Jet him labour, zvorking with his Hands the Thifig zuhich is good. • 2. That h-e bear a low Sail, and ket-p .within Compafs; remembring that of Solomon ; Fie thut is dffpiftd, and hath a Servant, is better than he that hi.-noureih himjelf\ and lackeih Brtad. ■ ■ ,2. To their Souls : Concerning which, fomeZ)::-//t.c, they are to perform to the Family ; and otheis, to rtqune of ilie Family. ^. . * I. The/)z^//>j they mull: perform to them, are

r. To provide that they may live under ihe publick.

Minillry 5 for otherwife how thould they be brought

' ... . . ... , iaiu

into the Sheepfold of Chrift, if they hear not the . Voice of the chief Shepherd fpeaking unto them by thofe whom he hath fcnt ?

2. To oveifee the Ways of their Famihes ; that they ferve God : and as in all other Duties, fo efpe-cially in fan(5^ifying the Sabbath : To th.*s the very Words in the fourth Commandment do bind all Mailers of Families * Rcnu'tnber, thou and thy Son, and thy Daughter^ thy uV^an-Servants, and thy Maid ; — Where the Lord fpeaks by Name to thcGovernours, as if he v/ould make them Overfeers of this Work of fandifying his Sabbaths.

3. To fet their Houfe in order for the Service of God, to offer Prayers & Praifes to the Lord Morning and Evening. To this Purpofe, Pray aritinually (faith the ApoftleJ i The/, 5. 17. which we muft not un-derftand of uninterrupted and incefTant pouring out of Prayers, as the Mujfaliam or Euch'ita did ; but of Morning and Evening Prayers ; the Apoltle here fpeaking in Reference and in Analogy to the continual, or daily Sacrifices. This was Da'vid's Practice, Evening and Mcrnivg, and at Noon will I pray and cry akud, arid he Jhall hear my Vo'ice^ ^^^^^-JS- ^ 7- ^^^ ^^^'* was Jc>h\ Prael;ce, who fcnt for, and fancflirted his Sons and Daughters ; and rofe up early in the Mornings arid off'eredBurnt-offerings according to the Number ofihe?H ail: --'Th'js /^W Job coninwally,Job 1.5. And this was Jbraharns Practice vvher;.ver he c^n^e, to build an Altar to God^ wl^ere Gad (hould be worih pped jointly by him and his Family : Gen. 12. 7. h 13. 4. & 21.^3. And this was ChrjiVs PrsClice for h'mijelf andhii Fa-inll)^ Mat. 14. 19. 'Joh ij. J.

4. To inruu6T rheir Families privately in Matters of Re'iglon,' that they may not only profefs, -but feel the Power ot Religion in their Lives and Converfa-tions. This D:/ty hath thcfe Specials belonging to it. ,

I.. A

1. A familiar Catechizing of them in the Principles of Religion. Thus were Parents commanded ot old ; Thou Jhalt teach thcfe Words diligently unto thy Children^ and/halt talk of thein when thou fetteji in thine Houfe^ and when thou walkefl by the Way^ and when thou iiiji down^and when thou rifeji up. Deut.6.7. Prov.22.6.

2. A daily reading of the Scriptures in their hearing, direcSling them to mark and to make Ufe of them : So Timothy was trained up by his Parents,and Xhzt from his Childhood, I Tim. 3. 15.

3. A careful endeavouring that they may profit by the publick Miniftry : To this end : \ They muft prepare them to hear theWord,by confidering God's Ordinances, Promifes, and their own Neceflities, 2. They muft remember them to look in the Word for a Chrift,and forCommunion with him. 3. They muft examine them after the Ordmances, what they have learned, and what Ufe thev make of it : Thus Chrift, after he had preached a Parable to his Difciples, he faid unto them, Know you not this Para-lie, and how then will you know ail Parables ? and then he expounds the Parable to them. Mark 4. 13.

2. The Duties they are to require of the Family, are both carefully to frequent the publicMiniflry,and diligenly to be converiant in the private Worfhip of God, and conftantly to pra6tice all holy and Chriftian Duties comprifed briefly in the Commandments of God ; and they are to require thefeThings, not only by telling them, calling on them, catechizing them, admonifhing them j but if they be negligent, by correcting them.

Now this Corredion muft be miniftred both ia Wijdom and in Patience.

I. In IVifdom \ whofe Property it is to find out the right Party that committed the Fault, to confider of what Sort and Nature, the Fault is, to weigh Cir-^ cumftances of Age, Difcrction and Occafions 3 and

to

to look to the Mind of the Doer, whether Negligence or meer Simpiiciry brought hiir) to it.

2. In Patiente ; whofe Property it is to make the Fault rnanif'eft to the Offender, that his Confcience may be touched therewith ; to hear what the Offender can fay in his own Defence, and accordingly to allow or difallow ; to avoid Bitternefs, which fooner will harden the fJeart, then reform the Manners of the Offender : TheTe Rules being obferved, and the Heart lifted up in Prayer to God for Direction and bleffiniT, this CorreSJion is neceffary ; as is evident in Gen. 30- 2.' Prov. 13. 24. and 19. 18.

Thefe are the Dutia that Govemours owe to their Families in refpecl of their Souls ; to correSt- thern^ caUchize them^ aclmonifb the?n<, call on them., read to thcTriy prayjor ihe-m^ Is'c. only with thefe Limitations.

I. That tiiey prefiime not above their Callings : This was Paul's, Exhortation, That no Afan take this Hovcur to h'imjelj\ hut he that is called of God, as zvtis Aaron : The Honour here, is the Honour of the pubfick MiniHry j except that, and I know not but that every Governour of a Family, wlio hath fpcciaJ Abilities, Utterance, Memory, may read Scriptures, repeat Sermons, pray^ teach and inftru^t qut of the the Scriptures. 1 /*c/. 4. 10. Thus Jacob faid to his Houfhold, Put away the firange Gccls that are among you. Gen. 35. ?. And without all Coiitradi^ion ffaith the ApoHle) the Ifjs is hleffed of the better^ Heb. 7. 7. And if the IPcman tvould learn any Thing., let them ofk their Huf-hands at Ilonie^^\ Cor. J 4. 35. Thus Origen would have the Word expounded in Chriftian Families : and Augujlir.e faith, That which the Preacher is in the Pulpit-, thejunic is the Hou/Jjolder in the Houfe.

2. That th.ey prefume not above their Gifts : This vas PauW Exhoitaticn to every Man, "Not to think of himfelf ^nore highly Jhen he ought to think ; hut to think fo-lerh\ (i^ '^'(^ ('^'th dealt to every Man the Meafre of

Faith :

Faith ; yet I deny not but in fome Cafes they may lawfully depute or fubftitute fome one in the Family, whom they judge fitted unto the Service and Employment, which they themfelves fhould ordinarily perform : as in Cafe of old Age and weaknefs of Body : Thus Samuel being old, made his Sons "Judges : Or in want of goodUtterance orExpreiTion of what is to be faid : Thus j^aron vi?iS Mofes his Spokefman, and in ftead of a Mouth : or in want of Boldnefs and Audacity, arifing from a confcioufnefs of Weaknefs : Thus the good Centurion fent the Elders of the Jews to Chrift to intercede for him : or in Cafe that a Mi-nifter of the Gofpel do fojourn in ones Family, as Ar-chippus did in Philemon his Houfe : or in Cafe of ne-ceflary Abfence : Thus the Apoftle Paul made Timo-thy his Deputy to the Chriftian Ihejfahnians : Or in Cafe the Lord hath beflowed more of his Gifts and Graces to one than another : I know not in this Cafe, but that we may covet earnejlly, the left Gifts in others^ as well as in our own felves.

Section III. Of the Dulles of Parents to their Children.

'"pHE Duties in particular which. Governours owe to • the Family, according to their Relations,-air q either

As Parents to their Children : Or, as Mafters to their Servants.

Tiie Fhiiies of Parents to their Children, are either to their Bodies, or to their Souls.

I. The Duties of Parents t© iheBodies of their Children, are in many Particulars, but may be all comprized under this one Head, J provident Care for their ttfnporal Good ; and this extendeth it felf to all Times, as I. To their Infancy. 2. To their Youth. 3. To the Time of Parents Departure cut oflhis World.

B I. The

r. The firfl Age of a Child is his Infancy, and the jfirH: Part of its Infancy, is while it remaineth in the Mother'sWomb. Here the Duty Hes principally upon the Mother, to have a fpecial Care of it, that it may be fafely brouecht forth. Why was the Charge of abjiainlng from IVine^ ftrong Drink^ and unclean Thhrgs^ given to Manoah''s Wife, but becaufe of the Child which fie had conceived ?

The next Degree of a Child's Infancy, is while it is m the Swadling-band, and reniains a facking Child ; in thisalfotheCare mare efpecially hes on theMother, whofe Duty it is to take all the pains fhe poflibly may, for the Education of her Child ; and efpecially to give her Child fuck, if fhe be able thereto : This not only Nature, but Scripture fets forth ;

1. By Confequeace, Gen, 49. 25. Hof. 9. 14. i Tim. j. 10.

2. By Example, Gen. o.i.y, i Sam.1.22. P/aL22 g,

3. By Grant, the Word giving it as a ruled Cafe not to be denied. Gen. 21. 7. Cant, 8. i. Luk n.27.

2. The fecond Age of a Child is its Youth, frora fhe Time it begins to be of any Difcretion, till it be lit to be placed forth : Now the Duty of Parents at this Time is,

I. To nourish. 2. To nurture their Children.

Under Nouri/hment, are comprized Food, Apparel» Recreation, Means for Recovery of Health when they are fick : In which, if Parents provide not for their Children, they areworfe than Infidels. And urider Nur-iure^t are comprized, good Manners, a good Calling, frequent Admonition, Repreheniion, Correction, the laft Remedy, which may do good when nothing elfe €an. Prov, 19. 18. — 23. 13,14.---29. 17.

3, The laft Time to which Parents provident Care extendeth it felf, is the Time of their Departure out of the World ; and then they are to fet their Houfe m Order, and to le^ve their^Aates to their Children.

2. Tiie

2. The Duty of Parents to the Scu/s of their Cbll-dren extends it felf alfo to all l^imes : As

I. To their Infancy. 2. To their Youth. 3. Tg the Time of Patents Departure out of this V/orld.

1. The firft Age of a Child, is his Infancy i and tlie firi^ Part of it's Infancy, is whik it lemaineih m tlie Mother's Womb. Now the Duty of Parents ai that Time are thefe : i. That they pray for their Children :■ Thus did Rebeckah, while the Children were quick in her Womb. Thofe Parents that neg-lecl this Duty to their Children, confider not rightly that they are conceived in Sin : 2. That they make fure (fo much as in them lies) that their Children be born under the Promife, or under the Covenant, in refpec^ of the fpiritual Part of it : How ? by making fure that ihey be under the Prcmife cr Covenant ihemfelvei : if God in Chrill: be their God, they may have a com-fortabic Hope, that God will be the God oftheirSeed, according to the Proniife, Ivjillhe thy Gcd^ widthe Gos^ of thy Seedy Gen. i']> '].

The next Degree ot a Child's Infancy, is when it is born: and xh't Duty of Parents then is, to give up their Children unto God, cafting thern intotheHands of his Providence, into the Arms of his Mercy, begging for them a gracious Acceptation with God ; and to tender them to the Ordinance, The. Sacrament of Bapiifm^Ko get the Seal of the Covenant fet upon iheiTi, to get t})em mark'd out for Salvation.

2. The fecond Age of a Child,is it's Youth : Now the Duty of Parents to their Children at this Time, is to train them up in true Piety : To bring them up in the Nurture a-nd Ad?ncn'iiion of the Lord To this end,

1. When Children begin to read, let \\\Qm read the holy Scriptures : fo was Timothy trained up from a Child ; and thus will Ch'ildren fuck inReligion with learning.

2. Let Children be Catechized conftantly fromDay to Day j only with thisCaveat, that Parents deaj with

B 2 tl^^sir

their Children, as fkilful Nurfes and Mothers 60 ill feeding their Children, not to give them too much at once : over mufh dulls a Child'sUndernanding:,and breedsWearifomenefs to it ; it is moft fuitable to give them Precept upon Precept^ Precept uponPrecept^ Line 'upon LineyLine uponLineJjere a lktle^& there a /////^,lfai.2 8.10. Thus (hall they learn withEafe &Delight,and inTime a great Meafure of Knowledge will be gained thereby.

3. Let Parents declare to their Children, the admirable Works that God -n former Times hath done for his Church, efpecially fuch Works as he hath done in their Time : outward fenfible Things do bed work upon Children, and therefore this Di-redion was given under the Law, Jojh. 4. 6. 2\.

4. Let Parents be to their Children a good Pattern in Piety, leading them to Chrift by their Examp'es : This will take Place with Children, more than all Precepts or parenta!Inftru6lions : But as for me (h\AJoJhua) Grid my Houle^ we will [erve the Lord \ Jofli. 14. 13. He fet.s himfelf firft, as a Guide to the rert.

5. Let Parents reprove and corre6l their Children for Sin ; and that the Lord may fanc\ify this Correeim unto them j Confider this, O ye Parents^ Do yoj ob-ferye fuch and fuch Sins in your Children ? Enter into your own Hearts, examine your felves, whether they come not from you : Confider, how juftly thfe Hand of God may be upon you : and when you are angry with your Children, have an holy Anger with your felves, and ufe this or the like Meditation with your own Souls, Lord^ Jhall I thus punijh my own Sin in mine own Child f Shall I thus perfecute the Corruptions of ?nine own Ancejlors ? How then may/i thou be difpleajed with me for the too carnal Conception oj my oivn Child : Jt inaybe^ 1 then lay in fame Sin, 0?'. I ajked ii not of thee by Prayer : Be merciful to me, 0 Lord ; ayid in thy good Time^ Jhew thou pity on ms and my Child I

6. As

6. As Children grow in Years, and in the Know-/ed^e of Chrift, and of Juflificaticn by Chrift, let Parents train them up in the Exercife ot all Duties, as Prayer, A'ledhat'ion, Self-ExaT?:iKaticn, lyatchfulncfs, and oH Aleani publick and private : If this be done, the World to come may reap the Benefit of their Education ; fucli Children as you bring up, fucli Parents will they be (when you are gone) to their Children ; and fuch Children (hall they have, who are Parents in the next Generation, &c. You then are the very making or marring of the World : but on the contrary, if this be negleded, the rich Man will rife up againft you in the Day of Judgment, and condemn you ; tor he being in Hell, had a Care of his Father's Houfe, that they might be forewarned ; he defired Abraham Xo fend Laxarus to his Brethren, to tejlify unto them that they came not to that Place of Torment \ but you will not adiponilh your Children, )ou will not teach them Mcfes and the Prophets ; you will not (hew them the Danger of God's heavy Difplealure hanging over theirHeads ; you will not, whileii )ou live,lead a good Example before them : O you m.ay fear that yourChil-dren (hall beFuries of Hell to torment you. Now the Lord open ycur Eyes to forefee,^ to fly thefe Judgments to come.

3. The laft Time to whicii ihe Duty of Parents extends it felf, is the Time of ih.eir Dt',:i3rture out of ihe World ; and then they owe to tl-e^r Children : Good DireClion. Faiiliful Prayer.

1. For Direction : When Parents obferve their Time to draw near, it is their Duty then efpecially, to commend fome wife and wholfom Precepts unto their Children, the better to direct them in their Chriftian Courfe ; fo did Ifaac^ and Jacob,2rA David: The Words of a dying Parent are efpecially regarded, and make a deeper ImprefTion.

2. For Prayer : then is the molt proper 7^1rne for Parents to pray and to b.kfs r^ thcijChiJdrjt. As they

commend

commend their own Souls unto God's Grace : God's

Provid^ince and Promifes ere the UJl hiher'iiance in the Wcrld \ and if Parents (in their Prayersj leave tbe-fe to tl\eir Cliildren, rhey can never wart any Thing tliat js good. O the faitb.ful Prayers of Parents for their Children (efpecTally when th.ey are leaving th.eir Children, and going toGod) muft needs,/??,/c/r, and thrcK^b Chr'iJ}, prevail mightily with God.

SECTION IV.

Of the duties of Mafiers to Servants, '"I^HJE Duty of Maflers to their Servants is either to '*' their Bodies, or to their Souls.

1. The Duty of Mo/lcrs to the Bodies of their Servants, confifts in thefe Particulti'ts ; viz. In a duePro-vifion of P'ood for them, Prov. 31. 15. and 27. 27. In a wife Care for their Cloathing, Prov. 31.21. in a well-ordering of their Labour, fo as they may be able to undergo it : h\ their Eafe, Refi^, and Intermifilon from Labour at feafonable Times : In paying ilicm fufficient V\^ages^Z)rz//. 24. 14. In a caretu) prekrvii.g of their Health, and ufing Means for their Recovery in Cafe of Sicknefs, Mat. 8. 6. and that not of the Servtms Wages, but of the M^fier's own Charge, o-therwife they undo not the heavy Buriheriy but ralh.'.^r lay Burthen upon Burthen.

2. The Duty of Mafters to the Scuh of tlieir ScT' "cwr/.r, -confift in thefe Particulars,-^/yz.In teaching them the i^rinciples of Religion, and all Duties of Piety : la caufing them to ?;o to the publick Miniftry of the Word and Worfnip of God : In taking anAccount of their profiting by the publick and private Means ©f Edification : In praying for them; and as they observe any Grace wrought in them, in praifing God ioT ir, and praying for the encreafe of it : Nothing fo much wins a Servant's Heart, or the AfFe<51ions of any gracious Heart, as the edifying of it in Grace.

Section

T'

Explained and Enforced, i^

S E c T I o N V. Of the T> titles of the Hujkand and IVife.

'HE Duties which the chief Governour and his Helper owe to one another, are either

Common and mutual ; or proper and peculiar to each revcrally :

I. The common mutual Duties betv.'ixt Maa and Wife, are either

OF Neceffity to the being of Marriage ; as Matri-7nanial Unity ; or Matrimonial Chajiity :

Of Honefty to the well-being of Marriage ; as a loving Affeclion of one another ; Provident Care for one another. Mat, 19. 5. Tit. 2. 5. MaL. 2. 15.

The formerDuties prefuppofed : there ought to be-*

I. A fweet, loving, and tender-hearted pouring out of their Hearts, with much affectionate Dearnefs into one another's Bofoms. This mutual-melting-heart-edncfs, being preferved frefh and fruitful, will infinitely fvveeren and beautify the Marriage State. Now for the Prefervation of this Love, let them confider

1. The companionate and melting Compcllations which Chriti and his Spoufe exchange in the Cantides^ My fair one., my Lcve^ my DovCy my tmdefiled^ my wjU-helovc(h the chief cf ten Thoufand : Such a fervent and chafte Love as this, all married Couples fhould refem-ble and imitate.

2. The Command of God to this ?urpok,Hu/haytds love your IVives^ Eph. 5. 25. and JVives (or young Women) love your Hufbands., Tit. 2. 4. Methinks this Charge often remembred, fhould ever beat back all Heart-riling and Bitternefs, all wicked Wilhes, that they had never met together, that they had never feen one another's Faces. When the Knot is tied, every Man (liould think his Wife the fitted for him, and every VVife fhould think her Hufoand the fitted for her of any other in the World.

A

2. A provident Care cf one tor another ; which extends to the Body : No Man hatdh his own Flefh^ but ncurijheth and cher'ijheih it : and to the good Name: yofeph was not willing to make Mary ^ pub lick Example : and to the Goods ot this World ; in which if there fall out any crofs Providence, they are both to join with Job's Spirit, 7he Lord hath given^ and the Lord hath taken &c. But efpecially to the Soul ; in praying together, for, and with one another : in taking Notice of the Beginning and leaft Meafure of Grace,and approving tlie fame ; in conferring about/uchlliings as concern the fame,mutually propounding Qiief^ions, and giving Anfwers one to another ; in mamtaining holy and religious Exercifes in the Family, and betwixt their own felves, in ftirring up one another to hear the Word, to receive the Sacraments,and confci-onably to perform all the Parts of God's publickWor-fliip ; In cafe the one prove unconverted, let the other wait, and |')ray, and cxpe^l God's good Time : or in Cafe the one be a Babe in Chrift, or weak in Chriftia-nity, let the other deal fairly, lovingly, meekly, and let ourLordJefus his tender-heartednefs to fpiriiualYoung-Jings, teach us Mercy this Way, who is faid to gather the Lambs ivith his JrniSy and to carry them in his Bojom^ and gently to lead thofe that are with young,

2. The proper and peculiarDuties to each feveraliy, are---

I. Of the Hufoand, whofe/)z//y it is, i. That he dearly Jove his Wife. 2. That he wifely maintain and manage his Authority over her.

For the former, i. The Matter of it is a dear Love, a fpecial Love, and a more fpecial then that common mutual Love to one anoth.er: No quertion the Wife js to love licr ITiltand, and a Brother to love his Brother, and a Friend to love his Friend ; but mor ^ cfpe-*^'ially, or with a more fpecial Lcvc, is the Hufl^and to love his \\"i{q. To tliis Purpofe fl^jc is called, The

JVift

Explained and Enforced. J 7

Wife of hh Bcfom % to ibew, that (lie ought to be as hisHeart in hisBofom. He mult Jove her at all Times, he muft love her in all Things : Love muft feafom and iweeten his Speech, Carriage, and Anions sto-wards her : Love muft ihew it felt in his Commands, Reproofs, Admonitions, lnrtru6lions. Authority, Familiarity with her, the Rife /< which Love mufl not be from her Beauty, Nobility, or becaufe (lie contents and pleafeth her Hulband ; but efpecially becaufe fhe is his Siller in the Profeffion of Chriftian Religion, and an Inheritor with him of the Kingdom of Heaven : becaufe of her Graces, andVertues,as Mode(ty,Chafti-ty. Diligence, Patience, Temperance, Faithfuinefs, SecrecvrObedience, &c. becaufe (he bears and brings him forth Children, the Heirs of his Name and Sub-ftance, and the Uj.holderot his Family ; and becaufe of the Union and Conjunaion of Marriage. Love growing on Beauty, Riches, Luft, or any other ilight Grounds, is but a Blaze, and foon vanifheth, but if grounded on thefe Conliderations, and efpecialiy on this Union of Marriage, it is la(\ing and true : The want hereof is the Fountain of Strife, Qu&relling,De-bate ; which converts the Paradife of Marriage, into an Hell.

2, For the manner of this Love ; the Apoflle gives it thus^Hufbaiids love your cwnlVheF.even asChriJf aijo loved the Church. Now the Love of Chrift to his Church,

is commended to us in ihefe Particulars :

I. \n the Cafe of Im Love^ which \%\\\%Love : Hi jet his Love on you^ becaufe he loved you : his Love arofe wholly and folely from himfelf, and was every Way free :To lliould Hulbands love their Wives, tho' there be nothing in Wives to move them, but meerly becaufe they are Wives.

2. In'ihe Order of his Love : Chrift began it to the Church, before the Church could love him : And as a Wall is firft fraitten on by the Sun-bear.js, before it

'C give

give a ReflecSlion of hef Heat back again : To the Church is firft heated and warmed at Heart by the Senfe of Chrift's Love, before (he love him again : IVeUve h'lm^ becaufe he loDed us firji : — Becauje of the Savour of thy Ointments^ therefore do the Virgins love thee : So fhouldHufbands begin to love their ov^n Wives. I know forne Wives prtv-nt their Hufbands herein, and there may be Reafon for it ; but the greater is their Glory. This Pattern of Chrift (liould rather ftir up the Hufbands to go before them.

3. In the Truth of Chrifl's Love : This was mani-fefted V>y the Fruits thereof to his Church : He gave himfelf for it^hat he iwght fan5lify it, i^cleanfe it^& prefent it to himfelf a- glorionsChurch^not having fpot or ivr inkle : So muft Hulbands love their Wiv^s in Truth and indeed, by guiding them in the Way of Life, and Path that is holy ; for this is the trueft Charadlcr of a fmcere Lov e.

4. In ihe^alityofhisLove : Chrift'sLo^Y is an holy, pure, and chafte Lsve ; as he himfelf is,fo is his Love i fuch mai\ be the love of Hufbands, an holy, pure, and chafle Love. Away with all intemperate, exceflive, or any Ways exorbitant Pollutions of the Niarriage-Bed ! from which, if the fear of God, imitation of Chrift, love of Purity, awfulnefs of God's all-feeing; Eye cannot draw, yet that flavilh Horror, left God ihould punifl^ fuch a Couple with no Children, or with mifliapen Children, or with Idiots, or with prodigious wicked Children, or with fome other heavy Crofs ; onfc would think fhould be able to affright them.

5. In the Continuance of Chri/Vs Love ? Having loved his cwn^he loved (hem to the End. His Love is a conftant Love., an everlalVmg- Love. No Provocation or Tranf-3[reirvons could ever make him forget hi-s Love. Thou, hafi played the Harlot with many Lovers., yet return icnto me, Jer. 3. I. SlkU muf\ be the Love of Hufbands, a

firm

firm Love^ an inviolable Zc^^ ; The Ground of it mud be God s Ordinance, and the Support of it muft be an inviolable Refolution,that noProvocation fhall ever change or alter it. Huibands muft pafs by all Infirmities, endeavouring in Love to redreis them, if pofli-bly they can ; or iTnot, to bear with them.

i. Duty of an Huil)and, is, wifely to ?nabitam and manage his Authority, Now the managing of it con-fifts in two Things :

1. That he tenderly refpe^l her.

2. That he carefully provide for her.

1. He muft tencUrty refpe^ hsr^ as his Wife, Companion, Yoke-fellow,as his very Delight ; and the Dcjin of his EyeSy and never be bitter againfl her. This Bit-ternefs ordinarily turneth the Edge of his Authority : Jf therefore any Matter of Unkindnefs arile (as fome-times certainly will) then mult he carefully with all Lenity, Gentlenefs and Patience quiet all, and never fufFer himfelf nor his Wife to fleep in Difpleafure : Let ?2st the Sun go down upon your Wrath ; or if he fhall kave Occafion to reprove her, he mufl keep hisWords until a convenient time, and not do it in Prcfence of others ; and then utter them in theSpirit of Meeknefs and Love. Surely if fhe be not correded by a Word of Wifdom and Difcretion, fhe will never amend by Threats, or any hafty, rigorous Carriage : and it (he once begin to lofe her Shamefac'dnefs in the Prefence of her Hufband, it is likely there will be otten Braw-lings and Quarellings betwixt them, and the Houfe \vill be full of Difquietnefs : It is beft therefore to deal wifely with her, to admonidi her often, to reprehend her {"eldom, never to lay violent Hands on her ; and if (he be dutiful, to cherifh her, that (he may fo car^tinue ; if wayward, mildly to fufFer her, that (he wax not worfe.

2. He muft carefully provide for her : To this pur-pofe he is called her Head, and Saviour, as Cori/i Js

C 2 ths

the Head of his Churchy and the Saviour of the Body : The Head fyou knowj is the Fountain of Motion, Qiiick'ning, Life, Senfe, and Lightfomenefs to the Body J fo fhould the Hufband be as the Well-fpring of Livelinefs, Lightfomenefs, Light heartednefs to his "Wif^ J fhe hath forfook all for him, and therefore fhe fhould receive from him a continual Influence of chearfulWaJking, and comfortable enjoying of herfelf. And a Saviour (you knowj both provides for, and pro-te(5ts the faved : Chrift thus faved his Church ; he is every Way a fufficient Saviour, able perfe^ly U fave^ even to the very uttermoji ; he faves Soul and Body, he faves from all Manner of Mifery, from the Wrath of God, the Curfe of the Law, the Venom of all outward Crofre3,theTvranny of Satan,the Sting of Death, the Power of ihe Grave, the Torments of Hell ; or, jf Sin be the greateft Evil,- (as indeed it is) he will Jave his People from their Sins-, Mat. r. 21. 1 cannot fay thus ot the Hufband ; yet an Hufband carrieth a Re-femblance of Chrifl, and is after a Manner a Saviour to his Wife, to protect her and to provide for hen David compares her to a Fine, intimating that as a Vine is underpropped and raifed by fomeTree orFrame near to which it is planted ; fo is the .Wife raifed to the Height of Honour by Vertue of her Relation to her Hufband 5 by his Wealth fhe is enriched ; by his Honour (he is dignified t he is underGod andChrif^,^/^ in all to her. In the Family, he is a King, fo govern and aid her ; a Prieft, to pray with her and for her 5 a Prophet, to teach and inftrucl her ; a Saviour to pror vide for, and protect her to his uimojl, if not to the ut-mofl ; which indeed is proper and peculiar to the Lord Jefus Chrift.

2. The Duties proper to i^e Wife, are thefe, viz,

1. That ihe be in SubmilTion to her Hufoand.

2, That Jhe be an Helper to him all her Days.

^. . , _ .1, Wivii

1. TVtves mufl be in fuVjeclion to their own Hujbands : Sarah obeyedAtraham^atid called him Lord : Gen,3. i6.Eph. 5.22. I l^et.3.16. But here is a Cafe of Confcience, —

f. What if her Hufband be a Son of Belial^ an Enemy to Chrift ? Muft (ho. then yield Subjedion ?— Yes : becaufe in his Office her Hufband is as inChrift Stead : The Church is compared to a Lilly among ThornSy (he remains Lilly-like j white,foft, pleafant,and amiable, tho' fhe be joined with Thorns^ which are prickly and fharp : So a Wife muft be meek, mild, gentle, obedient, tho* fhe be matched with a crooked, perverfe, prophane and wicked Huiband : She muft .in this Cafe remove her Eyes from the Difpofirion of her Hufband's Perfon, to the Condition of his Place ; and by Venue thereof ffeeing he bearethChrift'sImage) be fubjet^t unto him as unto Chrift.

2. What if her Hufband commandThings contrary to Chrift ? murt Ihe therein be fubjed ? — No : Submit^ i^c. How? as unttihe Lord: if fhe fubmits to Things contrary to Chrift, fhe, fubmits not as to the Lord. Confciencious Wives muft remember, they have an Hufband in Heaven, as weU as on Earth, betwixt whom thwe is a greater difference, than betwixt Heaven and Earth ; and therefore in Cafe they bid contrary Things, they muft prefer God before Maa, Chrift before all Men.

^. IVives mu!} he helpers to their Hujbands. Now this Helpfulnefs confirts in.thefe Things : '\ J. That fl\e be careful to preferve his Perfon, m Sicknefs or in Health, in Adverfity, or Frofperity, in Youth or old Age.

A moft memorable and famous Pattern for thisPur-

pofc, is recorded by * Uves : A youngs tender^ and beau-

iiful Maid^ ivas matched to a Man flrickm in Tears, whom

^fter Mai riage jhi found to have a very difeafed Body ^ full

' ' 0/

t L'lbi z, de Chjiftiani faem. p. ^60,

of loathful Difeafes .' yet notwithftanding^ out of Senfe and Conjdence^ that by God's Providence Jhe was become hislVife^ Jhe moji worthily digefled all with incredible Patience : Friends and Phyjicians advifed her by no Means to come near him; and for their Parts, they utterly forfock him ; but JJ?e {pajftng by with a loving Difdain ihofe unkind Diffivafions) becomes to him in theirStead^Frtend^Phy/ichan^Nurje^AJolher^ Sijler^ Daughter^ Servant^ every Thing^any Thing to do hi?n Good any manner of way. At iaji by extraordinary Ex-pence^ and exc£Jjive Charges about him., Jhe came tofmne want ofjome Necejjaries ;* whereupon jhe fold her Rings^ Chainsy richeji Attire^ Plate, and choiceji Jewels : and luhen he was dead, and Friends came about her, rather to congratulate her happy Riddance, than to bezvail her IVidowhood ; /he not only abhorred all Speeches tending that W^y, but protejied, if it wen poffible, Jhe would willingly recleem her Htifjand's Life with the lofs of her five dearefl Children. Whence it appears that this worthy Woman was wadded to her Hulband's Soul, not to his Body ; feeing no Infirmity or Deforinity thereof, could cool or weaken the fervency of her Love.

2- That (he learn and labour to forecaft, contrive and manage HoufholdAffairs^and Bufmejs within Doors, as they f^y : for which fee a right noble glorious Pattern in Prov. 31. "

3. That (he help her Hufband, in fetting forward rhe rich and royal Trade of Grace, in erecting and eftabiiihing Chrift's glorious Kingdom in theirHoufe, and efpeciaily in their own Hearts. This is that one necejfary Thing, "without which their Family is hut Satan's Seminary, and a Nurfery for Hell : This will xnarveiJoufly fweeten all Reproaches, cafi: upon them by envenomed Tongues : This will fweetiy feal unto them their AfTurance of meeting logethef hereafter in Heaven,---Where the Hufbband and Wife perform thefe and the like Duties \ there's an hnpny Family,s

there's

there's a Col lege of Quietnefs ; where thefe are neglected, we may ter^ it an Hell,

Thus much of the Dutlei of Governours ; we now come to the Governed.

Section VI. Of the 'Duties of Children to Parents.

T\Utifs of Children to Parents, are either inward, as •*-^ Love and Fear ; gr outward, as Reverencey Ohedi-encey and Recompencc.

1. The inward Duties which Children owe to their Parents, are Lyue and Fear : Love like Sugar, fweetens /v^r, and Fear like Salt, feafons Love ; there muft be a loving Fear, and a fearing Love. Hence the Fearoi a Child is oppofed to the/V^jrof a Slave ; for a Child's Fear being mixt with Love^ hath refped to the Offence which a Parent may take : But a Slaves F^^r, which is ordinarily mixed v^ith Hatred, hath refpect to nothing but the Punifhment which his Mafter may inflict upon him. This love-like Fear is fo proper to Children, as that the awful Refpecl which the Saints bear to God, is called a filial Fear : Children have received their Subftance, from the very Subftance of their Parents, and therefore they are to perform lYnsDuty oi Love and Fear to them.

2. The outward Duties, or the Manifeftation ofthis Live and Fear in Children, appears ;

I. In their Reverence, in Speech and Carnage : They mufl give to their Parents reverent and honourable Titles, meek and humble Speeches, Obeifance, as becomes their Age and Sex : Thus Jofeph and Solomon bowed, the one to his Father,the other to his Mother, Gen, 48. 12. I Kin. 2.19. Contrary hereto is mocking and defpifing Father and Mother : of which, faid S^lo-mon. The Eye that mockeih at bis Father., and defpifeth to oie-j his Mother^ the Ravem of the Valley jhall pick it out ;

Prov.

Pr©v. 13. 17. A Phrafc that fets forth the End of ^ notorious Malefactor, that is hang'd in the Air tiii the Ravens pick out his Eyes.

2. In their Obedience to their Connmands, In-f^ructions, Reproofs and Corecfticns of their Parents, Eph. 6. £. Prov. I. 8, 9. The Reafon is, hecaufe of God, whom the Father reprefenrs: Children niuft remember, that whatever chey do to their Parents, they do it to God ; when they pieafe rhem, they pleafe God ; when tlieir Parents are jurtly angry with them, God is angry wit)> them : nor can they recover God's Favour ^iho' all the Saints of Heaven Hiould intreat for them) till they have fubmitted themfelvcs to their own Parents ; only with this Limitation, that they fubmit or obey them in the Lordy Eph. 6. i.

3. In their Recompence : This is z'Duiy whereby Children endeavourfas much as in them liesj to repay what they can for the Parents Kindnefs, Care and Coit towards them,in way of Thankfulnefs : If any Widow have Children^ or Nephews^ let tkem fir ft learn to jhewKind-nefs at Home^ and to requite their Parents^ 1 Tim. 5. 4, In Sicknefsjthey mufl: vifit them,in the time of Mourning, they muft comfort them ; in Want, they muffc provide for them : As the Children of Jacobs who vifited, comforted, and went to buy Food for their Father, Gen, 4.8.1. & 37. 35. &42.3. In time of Danger, they muft endeavour their Prote6tion ; as David did, I Sam. 22. 3,4. Let wy Father and Mother (laid he to the King of Moah) I pray thee^ cone forth and be with ^'ouy till I know what G:d will do for me : ^nd he brought them before the King of Moaby and they dwelt with him all the whi-^:hat David was in the hold.

If God pleafe to take Children out of this World before their Parents, and their Parents be fqccourlefs, they muft (as they canj provide for their well-being after their Deaths : Thus Chrill commended his Mother tQ his Difciple John^ a little before he gave up the

Ghoft.

Ghoft. It is recorded of the Stork, that when the Dams are old, the young Ones feed them ; and when thro* Age they are ready to faint in their flying^, the youna; Ones help them ; and when they are part flying, the young Ones carry them on their weak Backs. Thus Nature teaches Children their Puty, howmucl^ more lliould Grace. ?

Section VIL 0/ the 'Duties of Servants to their Maflers.

DUties of Servants to their Mafters, are either inward, as Fear^ outward, as Reverence^ Obedience, J. The inward Z>z/?y is Fear : Servants be fubje£f to your Ma/iers with all Fear^ and acceunt them worthy of all Honour : So proper is this Fear to a Servant, as where it is wanting, there is a plaiii denial of his Mafter's Place and Powef : If I be a Majier^ where ii my Fear ? faidGod ; ObferveJ mean not an exceffive flavilhFear ; as when aServant fears nothing but the revengingPower Gi his Mafter (fuch was the Fear of that unprofitable Servant, who could fay to his Mafter, 1 knew that thou Wert an h(ird Alan^ and ] was afraid) but I mean an awful Fear of Provoking his Mafter's Wrath, fo as it makes him caft every Way, how he may pleafe his Mafrer, and fuch ^ Fear draws him on chearfully to perforiiv his Duty.

2. Outward Duties which ilTue from this Fear, arc JR.everence, Obedience.

I. Reverence^wWxch. is manifefted inSpeech&Carriage. ThusServantsmuftgivereverendTitlesto theirMafters, as Father^ Lird^ and Ma/ler^ b*r. They muft yield O-•beifance to them ; as The Children of the Prophets, when they faw that the Spirit o/'Elijah relhd o;; Elifha, they camt to meet him, and bowed the mfelves to the Ground before him.

2. Obedience \ which hathRefpedl to thcCommands, Inftru<5lions, Reproofs U Corre(5tions of their Mafters, I Pet. 2. 18,19,20. But here's a Cafe or two oi Conf^ cience ; D . i, Hq'^^

T. How far they muft obey ; or what is the extent of Servants Obedience,to Matters ? — The Apoftlc anfwers, Servants obey trj all Things your Maflers according to the Flejh, Col. 3. 22. It is not fufficient that Servants perform well their Duties in fome Things ; they muft do it in all Things ; yea ill Things that may be againft their own Mind and Liking, iftheirMafters will have it fo : This is clear hi the Example of Joab^ "the King commands him to number the People : Joah declares himfelf, that he thinks it a very unmeetThing, Why doth my Lord the King delight (faith he) in thisThing? 2 Sam. 24. 2,&c. Yet againft hisjudgmetit he yields unto the King's peremptory Command, The King*5 Word prevailed againfljoab. Look as /'^/^r^whenChrift bid him launch out into the Deep, and let down his Net for a Draught, tie anfwered and faid^ Mafter^ IVe have toiled all the Nighty and have, taken nothing : neverthe-lefs at thy Word^ 1 will let down the Net, So muft Servants fay, when they have a peremptory Command, tho'contrary to their ownjudgments,this or that in aU Humility, I fuppofe, or I propound to you ; Never-ihelefs^ atysur Word 1 will let down the Net -, I will do as you pleafe.

2. But what if God and Mafter (hould command contrary Things .? In fuch a Cafe the Apoftle fets down an excellent Limitation in thefe four Phrafes, [l. Jsunto Chriji, t,AstheServantsofChri/i, 2. Doing the fVill of God, 4. As to ihg Lord,]' ' All thefe imply. That if Matters command their Servants any Thing contrary to Chrift, they may not yield to it : Upon this Ground the Midwives of the Hebrew Women, viould not kill the Hebrew Children, They feared God (faith the Text) and did not as the King commanded themy Exod. I. 17. In this Cafe, Jofeph is commended, in Hot hearkening to hisMiftrefs ; and theServants 0^ Saul arc commended,for refufing to flay theLord*sPrietts,at theirMaftersCommand, WhenMaftersCommand of ..-■'■.-■■ >■ forbid

forbid any Thing againftGod & Chrift,they go therein beyond theirCommi(rion,and their Authority ceafeth ; fo that Servants may fay, We ought to obey God rather than Men^ A(5l. 5. 29.

5. Ohj6l. But feme may obje^Sl, That all Men are altke^ and that there is no Difference as betwixt Majlers and Servants ;' liay^ it is exprejly forbidden to beServanis of Men, J Cor. 7. 23.

I anfwer. To he a Servant^ in that Place, is not (imply to be in Subje6tion under another, but to be fo obfequious to Man, as to prefer him before God i Hence the Apoftle elfewhere in the Duties of Servants^ Jays down this Antithefis, Not as Men-pleafers^ but as the Servants of Chrift ;' again, doing Service as to the Lord^ and not to Men : Tlie meaning isj That we mull do Duty to a Mafler^ not as meerly to a Man^ but as to orte in Chri;Ts Stead. ^ Mafters, by vertue of their Office and Place, bear the Image of Chrirt ; Chrift communicates his Authority iinto them, and fo in performing Dutyxo iVlafters,v/e perform i^/z/ytoChrill, and in denying Duty to Masters, we deny Duty to Chrift : Thus the Lord faid to Samuel, when thePeo-ple rejecfVed his Government, They havp nctreje^ed thee^ but they have rtjeHed /»f, thai 1 jhould not reign ever them, Confider this, all ye that are Servants,\\\oug\i Majhrs ihould neither reward your eood Service, nor revenge '^o\xi ill Service, yet ChriiV will do both : This is your Prerogative that fear God, above all other Servants ; others may ferve their Mafters with Fear avd Trembling.^ in Singlenefs of Heart, and with good Will, but only Chriftians and Saints do Service as to Chri/i ; and this makes them not content themfelves with doing the Thing, but to endeavour to do it after the belt Manner chey can, fo as God and Chrift may accept ^f it,

I

I have now run thro* the Familv, and informed you of the Duties both of Gcvernours and Governed. Chriftians, look within you, look about you : That Man is not a good Many that is not good in all his Relations, The fame God that requires us to ferve him as pri-vatePerfons, requires us to ferve him in ourRelations : And therefore, though you be never fo careiul of your jDuty in the former Refpcd:, yet you may go ta Hell for neglecting your Duties, as Ma/iers^ SirvaniSy Huf-handsy Wives^ Parents^ ox Children : Nay, Tie fay^ a little more, that though you Ihould be good in one Relation,yet if you endeavour not to be good in every Relation, you (liall never go to Heaven : for the fame God that commands you to ferve him as a Mafter, commands you to ferve him as a Father, as an Hulband, &c. Jnd be that keeps the whole LazVy and ()ffends in one Pointy is guilty of all^ Jam. 2. lO.

FINIS.

BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY